LEFTY

                                                    "LEFTY"

They just simply called him Lefty.  Thats the only name  I ever knew him by.  I'm not even sure he had a real name.  But if you get right down to it I didn't have much to do with him anyway.  Maybe it was because he had a slight physical impairment....his left arm was about 14 inches longer than his right one.

Lefty's daddy was a long haul truck driver and his sweet momma (all momma's are sweet) was the night clerk at the "Get Up and Go Motel" on old highway 38 just beyond the Dairy Queen on the left going South.  Daddy was gone most of the time and momma's love was just not enough to keep Lefty on the straight and narrow road that leads to a fruitful and productive life that all parents yearn for with their children.  But living at home and having few friends, at age 36 Lefty decided it was time to leave Louisville and go to work.

With Lefty's physical abnormality and he being the creative little person he was.... it was only natural that he use this extended wing for some personal benefit.

And so Lefty became an extremely successful pick pocket.... working the streets of every major city from New York to L.A.

Lefty's career ended however when he got his arm stuck in a candy machine in the Greyhound bus station in downtown St. Louis one horribly rainy night.  While attempting to extract himself from this awkward predicament he severed his left arm completely off at the elbow.  And thus ended the lucrative and remunerative profession of one of the most talented delinquents this side of Coney Island.

Lefty, as you might imagine, sued the bus station, the carrier, the machine manufacturer and the 18 candy and cracker companies represented in the machine.  He won his case hands down (or should I say hand down) and now resides very comfortably in a nursing home, which he owns, in a Chicago suburb.


                                                         SMF/Sept/2013

"FLAPS MURDOCK"

"FLAPS MURDOCK"

I am sure you have heard of Flaps Murdock if you are any kind of WWII buff.  But in case you haven't you need to know a little history.

Flaps was born and bred in Pasgagoula, Ms.  His daddy ran a filling station and his sweet mama taught high school algebra.  Flaps christian name was William Robert Murdock but everybody just called him Billy Bob.  He was always a good boy but had an itching to do something exciting.

When America joined in the war effort Billy Bob was one of the first to volunteer.  He wanted to fly one of those B-24s .....a real heavy bomber that was sometimes referred to as a "flying boxcar".  And this is the beginning of the story of how Billy Bob came to be known as Flaps.

Only 21 years old and a very green 2nd Lt. Billy Bob was off to England and seeing his wish come true.....flying "Fat Sally"....a truly gorgeous B-24.

It was Billy Bob's first mission.  Bombs had been dropped square on target in the Fatherland and Fat Sally was headed home.  Heavy flak had put out one motor and damaged the controls a little but there were no casualties.  All in all a good day.

Home base in sight, cut the air speed, adjust the flaps.....ADJUST THE FLAPS!  Fat Sally didn't have any flaps.  Emergency landing now in progress.  Billy Bob put Sally down hard....blowing all tires, overshooting the runway and catching on fire. All the crew was safe and accounted for and Billy Bob had a new name......Yep...Flaps it was forever.  

Flaps flew 27 missions we know about officially but rumor has that number closer to 39.

Flaps currently lives in Las Vegas with his 4th wife, Jasmine, a 27 year old stripper from Yazoo City, Mississippi.  Don't knock it, at least it's home folks.

FOX/8/6/13

Harvey Docker

I was headed south out of Summit, LA.  Picked up Interstate 49 headed for New Iberia to load up on my 6 month supply of of hot sauce from ol Mr. Tabasco.  I own and manage "The Brown Bag".  The Bag as it's referred to by the locals is your typical Mom and Pop quick stop store.  I'm the pop and my name today is Harvey Docker....go by the name "Pig".  Can't imagine where I got that handle unless it has to do with the fact that I am 5 foot 2, eyes of blue and weigh a salty 310 pounds with my shorts on.

There have been 3 moms.....Thelma, Sugar and Daisy.  I really loved Sugar but she was hooked on alligator hunting.  But when that big 8 foot scaly devil tore both her legs off and she bled out on my brand new white bass boat I was through.  I hear she was laid to rest in the Ebeneezer Grove Cemetery on the edge of her beloved Brown Water Swamp.

It was Wednesday morning.  The reason I remember it was Wednesday was because every Tuesday night is high stakes dominos at the VFW and nobody misses that...ever.  When I got down around Pine Forest I stopped for a little petro and 2 scoops of mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone....my favorite.

There was what I thought was a "friendly" game of 5 card stud going on in the always vacant oil change bay.  There were 3 of these weired fish heads  dealing those paste boards.  I learned later one was on parole....having served 12 years for armed robbery and went by the named John...aka Killer.  Also 2 brothers named Slip and Slide whose lights were only dim at best.  They asked me to join them for a few hands and I of course always looking to make new friends could not refuse their kind offer. 

Several hands later I'm winning about $300 and Killer pulls out his big 44 magnum and Slip and Slide go for their tire irons.  This game has all of a sudden gotten serious  and I'm just a fun loving guy accused of dealing off the bottom.

I'm heading for the door when the first shot went by my ear.  I turned, pulled my 38 chief special from its ankle holster....fired 4 shots and dropped 3 pigeons.

Currently I'm resting in the county jail waiting on some goof ball grand jury to meet and that wont be for a month.  But..... that gives me time to perfect my submarine deal.

SMF/  4/21/13

DORIS LEDBETTER

Not much ever happens in Pecos, Texas.  I mean like nobody hardly ever says " I think I'll move to Pecos where the action  is".  So when the Ledbetter family came to town in  1943 it really started a buzz.  Some said Big Daddy Ledbetter was a draft Dodger but mostly folks just agreed he was lazy white trash what needed a place to call home and Pecos was as good as any.

Travis Ledbetter was the name he went by and all I ever knew his wife by was Dumplings.  The Ledbetters had one darling little girl named Doris.  Not only was Doris a talented little tot...she was a cute little thing and was only 6 years old when this sweet church going family rolled into town.

Travis, who had never farmed a day in his life, promptly went out and bought a 60 acre cantaloupe farm.  Now Pecos may well be the cantaloupe capitol of the world.  All I really know is Travis began to raise some of the finest fruit Pecos had ever seen.  He sold his melons at every crossroads and vegetable stand in west Texas.....and thats where he met Rose and thats where the whole mess started.

Rose was a wealthy widow that owned a chain of grocery stores in and around El Paso.  Rose became Travis's best customer and Travis became known as Rose's "Melon Man".  The Rose and Travis story has grown into another story for another day but the last time we heard from the loving couple they were living in Mexico City running several massage parlors.

But what about Doris and Dumplings.  In "44 Doris was voted "Little Miss Cantaloupe" of Pecos and then went on to the Nationals in Austin where she won "Little Miss TEXAS Cantaloupe" and received a full scholarship to the college of her choice ........to be awarded in 1955 or receive $10,000 cash immediately.  Dumplings screamed "show me the money", sold the cantaloupe farm and she and Doris headed for the beach in sunny southern California.

Dumplings and Doris liked the beach so much they bought a little beach front property in some sandy hole called Malibou.  Dumplings fooled around with her real estate and soon parlayed her holdings to include the ground that LAX sits on today.  Doris moved on up north and got involved in something called a"start up company in a place called Silicon Valley". She still remembered those days in Pecos and raising all that fruit called cantaloupe and she still had that dirt under her now well manicured nails.  So what did she do......cashed in all her money..went to her boss and said she would like to buy some APPLE.

Doris, not being the brightest light on the tree, thought she was buying into a fruit orchard......like a cantaloupe farm.  I will leave to your imagination the rest of the story.  Dumplings married a retired methodist pastor and lives in DeFuniak Springs, Florida.  Doris......she's still just as sweet and fine as the day she won "Little Miss Cantaloupe" , married to a brain surgeon, has 3 children and lives wherever she pleases.

SFOX...4/3/13

  

MANDY

Take Amanda in the picture above...which I painted while she gave me a snippet of her life as the cleaning lady at the "Reeling and Rocking Motor Inn" just outside of Memphis.

Mandy, as her friends call her, originally showed up in Memphis in the 50's hoping to make it in the music industry as a country singing icon.  Today she couldn't even get an audition with "American Idol" she was so bad.  But she was skilled as a seamstress an got a job with some hip swinging dude named Elvis sowing sequins on his costumes.  The King liked her so much he made her the co-pilot on one of his two his private plane.... a 4 motor Electra.  Mandy loved to fly and fly she did until The King ran out of gas in August of "77.  Thats when the Red Dagger drove her to the "Reeling and Rocking" and her new position as sanitation director....or so her business card says. So if you see some over weight chick, pushing 80 but looking more like a 100, driving a blue '84 caddy convertible and wearing an airplane pilots cap.... give Mandy a thumbs up and a chorus  of "Are You Lonesome Tonight".